Fishing for a name
by Maxter
Summary: In this the pilots find a new kind of fish and are trying to name it. PG13 for swearing. I am sorry for any OOC characters and character bashing.
1. Finding the fish

It was the end of April and Relena, Duo, and Trowa were siting on a bench by a lake watching Quatre, Heero, and Wufei trying to catch fish.  
  
"Damit! These fish will not bite my hook!" Screamed Wufei.  
  
"Don't worry Wufei neither would your girlfriend," shouted Duo from the bench.  
  
All the pilots started to laugh, except Trowa who was just shaking *his way of laughing*. Relena almost fell out of the bench because she was laughing so hard.  
  
"Damn you onna!" screamed Wufei.  
  
"You want a piece of me, be-atch!" taunted Duo.  
  
"It would be your pleasure," and with that Wufei ran up to Duo and started to punch him. Duo then grabbed Wufei's throat. Then they started to fall towards the lake dragging Trowa, who was trying to stop them, with them.  
  
"Watch out!" screamed Quatre, but it was too late. Duo, Wufei, and Trowa ran into the other Pilots, making them all go into the lake.  
  
"Och! I just got bitten!" Yelled Trowa.  
  
"Hey it's a fish!" said Heero.  
  
"I have never seen a fish like that before," commented Quatre.  
  
"That's because you lived in the desert dumb ass!" Mocked Duo.  
  
"I have read books about fish, and I know there has never been a fish with that kind of color before." Said Quatre.  
  
Believe it or not he was right. So they set off to the aquarium, which just so happen to be less than two feet away.. 


	2. The contest

.At the Aquarium the pilots and Relena went to talk to the leading scientist there.  
  
"Well it looks to me that Quatre was right, there has never been a fish like this before," said the scientist. While he was saying it Quatre put out his tongue to Duo, "but one of you will have to name it," continued Dr.Jampoli *that was the scientist's name*. "Oo oo! I want to doc, I did realize there was no other species like that!" Shouted Quatre.  
  
"I should because the fish bit me!" yelled Trowa.  
  
"I should because I was in a fight that made Trowa fall in the river!" Shouted Wufei.  
  
"Well I started the fight, so I should name it!" yelled Duo.  
  
"I found out that it was a fish." said Heero Quietly.  
  
Everyone started at him for a minute.  
  
"Well there is only one way to settle this," said Dr.Jampoli," we must have a contest!  
  
Quatre you Heero will be in one group 'cause you were the identifiers. Wufei and Duo  
  
will be together because they were the fighters," at this Wufei and Duo looked at each  
  
other in shock, "and that leaves Trowa and Relena in a group."  
  
"But I WANT HEERO!!!" Shrieked Relena.  
  
"Too bad," stated Heero.  
  
So they all had six days to find a name.. 


	3. The first day of the contest

.So it was the first day of the contest and all the teams were really working hard, especially Duo and Wufei.  
  
"Fuck! I am all out of ideas Wufei!" yelled Duo.  
  
"You only thought of one name, Happyhogo! Not to mention it took you an hour!" Shouted Wufei.  
  
"Well how much did you think of Mr. I think I am so smart!?" Yelled Duo.  
  
"Seven," said Wufei ashamed.  
  
"Oh, well what were yours?" asked Duo.  
  
"Colory, Hamotory, Bobery, Shambory, Holiery, Hapmpory, and Hogiemomotootoo," said Wufei proudly.  
  
There was utter silence for 10 minutes.  
  
"Why did they all end with 'y'?" asked Duo.  
  
" Hey! Hogiemomotootoo did not!" said Wufei ashamed.  
  
"Sorry, but I think we should find some other names." commented Duo.  
  
At Quatre's mansion  
  
"Ok I got Sir smiley, Peacefully, and Mr.Kopoko!" shrieked Quatre Excitedly.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking when you came up with those?" asked Heero who was deeply disgusted.  
  
"Well.I dunno. Sorry for being creative," said Quatre hurt, "What did you get?"  
  
"Death, Evil killer, and Die Oz," said Heero with great pride.  
  
"I guess we have a lot of work a head of us," said Quatre.  
  
At the Peacecrap.oops Peacecraft mansion  
  
"What did you get Relena?" asked Trowa quietly.  
  
"Well I have quit a few, but here are my favorites," at this Relena drew a big breath, "Heero the fish," at this Trowa did an 'anime' fall, "Heeromatic, Heeroric, He He Herooo, Heeeee a rooo, and last Relenamonina banana wanana bonina!" stated Relena proudly.  
  
"When I thought mine were dumb you proved me wrong," marked Trowa.  
  
"Well what were yours?" asked Relena.  
  
"Glarer, Deathmachine, and Kila clown," said Trowa in a monotone.  
  
"I like Glarer!" shouted Relena, "that is Heero's trade mark move!"  
  
"Then I guess it is decided."  
  
Well looks like only Trowa and Relena are finished.. 


	4. the second and third day of the contest

It was the second day and still only Trowa and Relena were done. The other pilots are stilling brain storming and mocking each other's names.  
  
"Duo what in the name of hell are you thinking!?" asked Wufei desperately  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Duo.  
  
"I mean that is no way to do what you are doing! The form of it all is all wrong!"  
  
"Then you do it!" yelled Duo.  
  
"Fine I will!" said Wufei while lifting up a thing that was supposed to be a sandwich.  
  
At Quatre's mansion.  
  
"OK, so what do you have as your favorite, and please do not say Sir happy again!"  
  
pleaded Heero.  
  
"Well all I have is Quatranizer, it came to me about the third time you yelled at me for  
  
say Sir happy."  
  
"Wow that was dumb, I think mine is better. It is Hel.," before he could finish Relena  
  
entered the room shouting "Heeeeeeerrrrooo" on the top of her lungs.  
  
"Yes? What do you want Relena?" asked Heero.  
  
"Just to tell you me and Trow.."  
  
"Trowa and I!" corrected Quatre.  
  
"Oh sure you want to be on our team too, but too bad. You can't!" at this Quatre hit his  
  
head, "So as I was saying before interrupted by Quatre," continued Relena, "As I was  
  
saying before interrupted by the narrator, my team is done!" said Relena after being  
  
rudely interrupted by me.  
  
"Great." Said Heero.  
  
After some more chitchat Relena dragged Trowa to a mall to treat her on a shopping spree.  
  
"Pity Trowa," said Heero.  
  
"So what were you saying before?" asked Quatre.  
  
"Oh yeah my name is..umm I forgot."  
  
The next day when Heero woke up he remembered and ran to Quatre's mansion.  
  
"Quatre, Quatre, Quatre! I remembered my name!" Yelled Heero excitedly.  
  
"You forgot your name was Heero?" asked Quatre.  
  
"NO dumb ass, the name for the fish!"  
  
"Well what is it?" asked Quatre.  
  
"It is...Damn shit!! I forgot again!" said Heero disappointed.  
  
At Duo's apartment 3 hours later.  
  
"Well you got anything?" asked Duo hopefully.  
  
"Nope, you?" asked Wufei.  
  
"No."  
  
The day continued much like that. Heero kept on remembering, but then forgetting. And Duo and Wufei were still trying to find a good name. Then there was Relena making Trowa spend all his money on her. Pretty sad. 


	5. The fifth day

Author's note: I'm sorry for the long wait, but I really hope this chapter will be good. Also I'm sorry once again for any OOC, light bashing of everyone, and for one joke coming up once again in the story. Thanks, and hope you enjoy, ~Maxter.  
  
It was the Fifth day of the naming and with only Trowa and Relena done the other pilots were getting very nervous, let us take a look..  
"Now this is the way to do it!" said Wufie with much pride.  
"Wow! You are right, that's much better than I could do," Duo said with admiration.  
"Yea, well, I guess only real men can do this, eh Duo?" Wufie said in a strong and proud voice.  
"Are you calling me an ona, baka?" asked Duo.  
"Well, yes. It took you 2 days to make something that only was as good as this," said Wufie mocking Duo.  
"Are you saying that my mom is an ona?" asked Duo stupidly.  
"First of all baka she is an ona, and second I was saying THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE A SANDWITCH!" yelled Wufie, disgusted with how stupid Duo was.  
"Oh," said Duo quietly.  
At Quatre's Mansion Heero and Quatre were not making sandwiches, but actually doing something worth while, thinking of a name for a fish *gasp*.  
"No what Cat?" asked Heero.  
"What?" asked Quatre back.  
"I have given up on the name which I kept on forgetting, so I think we should use a made up name. For instance Shepika, or Namcoco. What do you say?" asked Heero hopefully.  
"Hey! That just might be gay enough to work!" said Quatre earnestly.  
"Are you calling me gay?" asked Heero obviously very mad.  
"Of course! Not! Just you idea is a bit quire," said Quatre smirking.  
"Right, so which name should we do? Or do you have any suggestions?" asked Heero, try not to choke Quatre.  
"I think we should do Hamtaro!" said Quatre excitedly.  
At that point Heero jumped Quatre and started to beat him with a stick, which appeared out of nowhere *0_o*. Quatre could not do anything because his hands had been in his pants scratching him self. Then finally Heero calmed down and sat back in his seat like nothing ever happened.  
"W-w-what was t-t-that?" asked Quatre breathless.  
"You pissed me off a bit to much. Now I'm going home for the day, bye," said Heero taking his stuff and leaving.  
"Fuck! He is one psycho!" yelled Quatre to him self.  
At the Peacekraft's Mac-a-roni and chee.opps! I mean Peacecraft's mansion, Trowa actually getting his money back from Relena only because her butler insisted, and you know how she always listens to her butler.  
"1,001, 1050, 10,000, 20,000, 31,670, and finally $35,458.62!" said Relena in a very happy mood because she finally counted for the first time in her life without a calculator.  
"Thank you very much and now I think I'm going to go to sleep, in a bed, in my apartment, in a different neighbor hood, in a different town, away from you! Bye!" and with that he ran a whole 30 blocks in 10 seconds flat.  
  
A.N: I hope everyone enjoyed that. Well thanks and remember if you want to get a way from Relena time is not an obstacle. Thank you and good bye! Also I am changing it from 5 to 6 days in the contest. I am sorry for any inconvenience. 


	6. The last dya, or is it? Dumm, Dumm, DDDU...

A.N: Welcome to another installment of this story thingy. I'm your narrator Maxter! I hope all of you enjoy this chapter. Coming soon to a fanfiction.net near you! How to make a sandwich with Duo and Wufei! Coming September 2003!  
  
Let me see, so it is the first day and, ONLY TROWA AND RELENA ARE DONE! Wow that's messed up, lets have a look at Heero and Quatre..  
"Morning Quatre," said Heero as he entered the room where Quatre was watching "The Young and The Restless".  
"Hey Heero! I'm just watching my soap. It will be done in about 15 minutes, so you can just hang here, ok?" asked Quatre not really caring if Heero said no.  
"Fine I guess," said Heero without realizing how terrible those 15 minutes would be. The first 5 were just seeing people having sex, so Heero just figured Quatre was watching a porn soap (as if). Unfortunately the next 10 were willed with a mix of yelling, making out, and death (not to mention Quatre wailing every second).  
"So, what did you think?" asked Quatre wiping up the last of his tears.  
"You are one messed up man, but we better think of something quick cause today is the last day," Heero said changing the subject.  
"Right. Well I think we should call the fish Boboship, after my favorite character in my soap, *big flashy eyes* Ronnie Boboship," said Quatre dreamily.  
"FINE! I cannot stand it any more! Will use Bubash.."  
"Boboship," interrupted Quatre.  
"Sorry Boboship. Well I'm going to watch a porn video to get that Soap Opera shit out of my head! Bye!" and with that Bobeero, err Heero stormed out of the mansion and went to the Adult video store and spent $50.  
  
At Duo's apartment Duo and Wufei were not thinking of a name for a fish, but in the middle of having 'The Best Sandwich Contest'. It was a huge commotion, lights everywhere, girls screaming, and was hosted by, you guessed it! World famous cook, the guy who says bang when ever he adds an ingredient!  
"Look at this crowd! It is amazing! Oh look Wufei goes for the 5- week old lunchmeat and puts it on the bread! Bang!" yelled the guy who says bang every time he adds an ingredient (no what? I'm going to call him the 'Bang sayer').  
"Did you really have to invite all these people here? I mean we could have just had one bum of the street judge," Wufei said just realizing the 'Bang sayer'.  
"Then what fun would that be 'Fei? I mean now people we don't even know will know us!" Duo said with great glee, "Plus all the chicks dig a guy who can cook (girls pop out of no where holding on Duo's arms). See what I mean."  
"Looks like Duo has got some of his girl friends to help him. Now the brunet passes him the salt, and Bang!" said the 'Bang sayer' commenting on everything they did, "And look at Wufei put his hand on his crotch and BANG!  
Eventually they were all done making their sandwiches. It was time for the judging by the 'Bang sayer'! After he was done stuffing himself with the sandwiches and the money Duo and Wufei gave him it was time to say who fun (a.k.a. who gave him the most money).  
"Ladies and fat men! The winner, by $100, err by the best tasting sandwich is (pause), Duo!" yelled the 'Bang sayer'.  
After Duo won a bunch of Wufei fans jumped him and left him in a quivering mess. Well at least everyone was happy, except Duo of course. Well I guess I should tell you what Trowa and Relena are up to. Well, I WON'T! *Laughs insanely*  
Ok so it was the next day. They all took showers, met, and then got dressed, not in that order of course! They all got their names, which were on a piece of paper, except Duo and Wufei of course, and they met at the lake.  
"So this it, right?" asked Duo as he approached the rest.  
"Yea I guess so.after a shit load of months writing the final chapter.Wait when did I get in this story?ahhhhhh!!!Help!!  
Don't mind that, I was just in one of my many "moods"  
"Yea after about a week we will finally see who is the victors." Commented Herro.  
"Or victoretes!" commented Relena. At this they all did a "anime" fall.  
"Baka ! Let's just go already! I want to win!" yelled Wufei.  
"One problem wolf man," interrupted Duo, "WE don't have a name!"  
"Great! Lets just go!" screamed Wufei (I think he will get a horse thing inside your mouth soon).  
So with that they got went into the center.  
"Hey when did the aquarium have a work out center?" asked Trowa.  
"They don't!" said a mysteriously perky voice, "this is a YMCA!"  
All of a sudden all the pilots, and Relena broke out into dance, singing YMCA. Wow not that's scary! Then they finished with Relena singing the last line.  
"Why that fuck did we just do that? And who is that?(points to a man in a tank top and skirt)" asked Duo.  
"Well that's what everyone does when they enter a YMCA! They sing! (he starts to sing)," said the perky dude "(then he finished with tank off his tank top and showing he had no muscles)I am Penny Foryoupenis!"  
"Well if never heard a gayer name," mocked Wufie.  
"Oh well at least I am gay!" said the perky dude.  
"That is not a good thing, Baka!" yelled Herro  
"AHH! No! I'm melting (literally he was melting)! Stop with the Japanese!" The perky one yelled while melting.  
"Hey! He is turning Japanese (I give credit to jace)! Ha HA HA!!" Said Duo, rolling on the ground laughing.  
"Baka! He isn't jacking off! He just melts at Japanese words!" said Wufie amazed at Duo immaturity and stupidness. And with that the perky dude malted.  
"Herro my savor ! You saved us all from that perky dude! Molest me!" yelled Relena flapping her arms around and pulling up her shirt reveling a flat chest.  
"what? I haven't said anything since that dance number, and I only molest girls with a brain or nice curves. Seeing as you have neither I won't." laughed Heero.  
"NOOO!!!!" yelled Relena.  
  
A.N.: Sorry for the long wait, but this is not the last chapter. Hope you like.! 


	7. Pot, Fish, and the Ghetto

A.N: Sorry about the long wait, just I haven't had the time and I really haven't been inspired to write more. As I write this I'm not sure if it is the last chapter but if it is I hope all of you have enjoyed my story, it was a pleasure writing it. Also, despite popular belief I do not own Gundam Wing or the YMCA, just this story and the plot. Thank you to Jace for letting me use her in this story, I am not sure she knows she's in it, but she is so there! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------  
Last we saw our Heero and the others they were in a YMCA, but with some strange plot twists and some blue and red purple pills they realized that it was just a hallucination and they were smoking pot in Duo's bedroom.  
"This is the last time you convince me to smoke this shit with you Duo!" said Wufei angrily, while he threw what he had been smoking in the trash.  
"Yea, it's no fun anymore!" stated Quatre "especially after I fell off of Mushroom Mountain, or maybe it was the second..."  
"Who's countin'?" asked Trowa, with everyone agreeing with a shake of their head.  
"What time is it anyway?" asked Heero, getting up from the Duo's bed and scratching his ass.  
"5 to 10!" shouted a high voice from under the covers of Duo's bed.  
Everyone shrieked in fright, for they never thought they would have to face such a horrible thing as a dum dum dum! blanket monster!  
"I'm too gorgeous and young to die!" yelled Duo.  
"Don't forget steamingly sexy, physically hunky, and unbearably hot," reminded Jace popping up from out of the ground then going back into it, not even leaving a whole, sort of like that rodent think in those push pop commercials!  
"Oh and don't forget your good hair!" added in Quatre giggling.  
Everyone just stopped worrying about the monster to stare at Quatre, even Quatre was shocked/disturbed about what Quatre said. After a couple of minutes took out of their panicking to all take cold showers (excluding the blanket monster) they went back and started to freak out all over again.  
"I'm too gorgeous and young to die!" yelled Duo, once again. Then as Jace was about to pop up again re-creating the disturbance Heero slide tackled her and shut her up by giving her a kiss, but it wasn't an ordinary kiss, it was one of those steamy kisses that you only see in cheap romantic movies where steam is actually emanating around them. Once they stopped, Jace went back to reality and Wife started to hit the Blanket Monster.  
"Die die die!!!" shouted Wufie while bitch slapping the monster.  
"Stop stop! It's a me Mario errr Relena!" Shouted Relena as she pulled off the blanket,  
"What were you doing there?" asked Trowa who had been still under the 'pot effect' during all of that and just realized what was going on.  
"Well, I saw Heero on the bed and I decided it would be a good idea to give him head so I did!" said Relena very proud of herself.  
"You must have been really high, because I didn't get any head from you." Heero pointed out.  
"Wait, whats that!" Quatre pointed in disgust to a thing covered in saliva under the covers. He then fainted, woke up, only to faint again.  
"It's a dildo!" shrieked Duo, going into a hissy fit.  
"No it isn't dumbass, it's a toy of a Tilitubby. Dildo's have a completely different shape and when I sucked on one, I mean when I saw girls on the Web sucking on one it looked really different." Stated Wufei and since all of that was so disturbing and disgusting the pretended it sounded perfectly fine. Either that, or the pot was still in them.  
"Ah shit we have to go to the Museum to give in the names!" Trowa yelled realizing what a pointless thing all of this was.  
"Let's go go Power Wheels!" shouted Duo. .And with that all of them transformed into cars. Except Relena who was a Bird, and Trowa who was an Ogre, and Heero who was an Ear, and Wufei who was a Pogo stick, actually the only one who was a car was Duo. Then they went into the Museum, and transformed back into themselves.  
"You guys know you really should not smoke pot!" scolded the Professor. Then they got into a discussion on the effects on pot on politicians and monkey's, completely oblivious to the fact that they were there to name the fish that they found a whole 5 days ago.  
"Relena, your documented evidence on pot and monkeys is unbelievable, how did you do it?" asked the Professor, in quite a shock.  
"I visited the forest one day only to find my self smoking pot and in a strange dream I was sitting on top of my village Elder, Little Monkle. He told me that the night before he had a vision of a bear and a fish fighting over their peanut .Which meant the Mormons would be soon attacking our village and tell us their story about their religion and expect us to convert. So after the Mormon Inquisition of my fellow people in the hood we met a Rabbi who spoke in riddles and one riddle was about a Male Monkey eating a Bible. The out of the Bible came Lilith and she wanted to have sex on top, but noooo! Mister Male wanted her on bottom, so she yelled out to him and this is what she yelled!" Relena said holding up the paper.  
Everyone was so amazed and confused that they started to talk about their favorite foods. When it was Trowa's turn he said Sea Food which reminded everyone about the fish naming.  
"Ok now, what names do you guys hazzle my fazlzle dazzle!" said the Professor, thinking he was ghetto.  
"Ours is Boboship!" yelled Quatre, over merrily, while Heero just glared at him.  
"Well I don't mean to brag, but out name is ten times better than yours, fo'she zy my ne zy!" Said Trowa, taking out his Bling-Bling and doing one of those rapper poses.  
"Oh! You got served" Shouted some random Rapper dude.  
"Then what is it, ya' crackers!" shouted Heero right back, obviously getting into his rapper mode. "Oh you got served back!" shouted Quatre, talking in his regular tone so he sounded very out of place, but no one really noticed. "Oh that's it! Its on!" Shouted back Trowa, fallowed by a million other people shouting it so amidst the confusion they just decided to shake hands and agree that it was silly to fight over the names, much to the disappointment of millions of fans wanting to see people do cheesy dance moves. "Oh, by the way our name for the fish is Glarer" said Relena out of no where. "Hey that's my catch thing!" remarked Heero. "No fair! I want a catch phrase too!" Whined Duo, but Wufie hit him with a pole.  
"Now Duo and Wufie lets here yours!" Said Dr.Jampoli, who's name I just remembered and who was very exited to find out the name.  
"Umm.." stammered Duo and Wufie remembering they never thought of a name. As they looked around for objects to strike interest Duo saw a really hot girl pass bye he blurted out "Ah...Boner!" for he was getting one much to everyone's disgust.  
"Ok then," started Dr. Jampoli, "Let me decide..." And as he was deciding a couple of things happened. Wufie elbowed Duo for being an idiot, Relena molested herself and blamed it on Heero, and Trowa farted."...I choose Jampoli! It will be hence forth be called the Jampoli fish!"  
Before any of the pilots or Relena could do something a bunch of reporters were let in and the fish was officially named. So the pilots and Relena all walked out, all very disappointed. But at least they all learnt a valuable lesson, Marine Professors are greedy little fuckers.  
The End! 


End file.
